I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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