like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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