Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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