i permit you to call me
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
