Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
