Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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