Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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