I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
