So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i now understand why vodka
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
