bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
