She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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