Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
