You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
