Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
