This is not my ceiling
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
