How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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