Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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