apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
