Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize