So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Do vagina's smell?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
