My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i've created a new STD.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
