And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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