Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.

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  (212): She was not exactly lady-like. Down there. http://tfl.nu/8oh7
  Replies (7) Good night (839) Bad night (1720)
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  (559): View more from California

  I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.

  (1-559): View more from California

  Yup.

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  (559): I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again. (1-559): Yup. http://tfl.nu/egb3
  Replies (20) Good night (1311) Bad night (2634)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls

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  (305): I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls http://tfl.nu/u8nd
  Replies (96) Good night (7090) Bad night (1053)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.

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  (623): everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls. http://tfl.nu/6oxa
  Replies (37) Good night (5627) Bad night (1535)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.

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  (269): I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience. http://tfl.nu/m1cq
  Replies (29) Good night (1288) Bad night (6660)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO

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  (818): Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO http://tfl.nu/je4r
  Replies (7) Good night (1216) Bad night (3387)
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  (209): View more from California

  I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.

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  (209): I don't think child baring hips is a compliment. http://tfl.nu/0err
  Replies (29) Good night (1471) Bad night (2827)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine

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  (314): Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine http://tfl.nu/rnj9
  Replies (11) Good night (771) Bad night (1425)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really

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  (231): You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really http://tfl.nu/kw3p
  Replies (6) Good night (1515) Bad night (463)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it

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  (954): My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it http://tfl.nu/o7iy
  Replies (9) Good night (1191) Bad night (404)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?

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  (860): It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now? http://tfl.nu/w7no
  Replies (6) Good night (651) Bad night (421)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow

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  (404): So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow http://tfl.nu/zlpp
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (545)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink

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  (508): I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink http://tfl.nu/9k20
  Replies (0) Good night (438) Bad night (284)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.

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  (616): I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony. http://tfl.nu/gfaq
  Replies (1) Good night (433) Bad night (422)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France

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  (802): Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France http://tfl.nu/04j9
  Replies (0) Good night (457) Bad night (137)

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