Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?

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  (770): Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich? http://tfl.nu/e2fw
  Replies (17) Good night (2188) Bad night (1122)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.

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  (641): I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting. http://tfl.nu/pz3u
  Replies (27) Good night (9090) Bad night (932)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.

  (1-501): View more from Arkansas

  bonus

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  (501): So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked. (1-501): bonus http://tfl.nu/029j
  Replies (20) Good night (4264) Bad night (574)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.

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  (319): Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know. http://tfl.nu/c989
  Replies (12) Good night (914) Bad night (3789)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low

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  (615): He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low http://tfl.nu/d44y
  Replies (14) Good night (1177) Bad night (5836)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.

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  (616): our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time. http://tfl.nu/fvgl
  Replies (13) Good night (6500) Bad night (1098)
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  (925): View more from California

  Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'

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  (925): Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots' http://tfl.nu/c9v2
  Replies (4) Good night (2995) Bad night (764)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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  (313): I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many. http://tfl.nu/e16i
  Replies (6) Good night (2330) Bad night (1352)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.

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  (423): no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet. http://tfl.nu/ph90
  Replies (10) Good night (2826) Bad night (1228)
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  (315): View more from New York

  some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.

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  (315): some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad. http://tfl.nu/fabc
  Replies (7) Good night (1541) Bad night (2379)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out

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  (407): More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out http://tfl.nu/4y5s
  Replies (4) Good night (560) Bad night (973)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable

  (303): View more from Colorado

  thermos full of jaeger bombs?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Affirmative

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  (720): She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable (303): thermos full of jaeger bombs? (720): Affirmative http://tfl.nu/e05o
  Replies (3) Good night (1054) Bad night (384)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital

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  (613): Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital http://tfl.nu/nh6p
  Replies (8) Good night (1556) Bad night (392)
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  (631): View more from New York

  A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.

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  (631): A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me. http://tfl.nu/teoz
  Replies (5) Good night (336) Bad night (874)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.

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  (612): You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in. http://tfl.nu/2cq6
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (157)

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