He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
