Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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