Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
