for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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