Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
