her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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