Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dick very happy bro
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
