when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
try to milk me bitch
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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