The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Of course I have a pirate flag
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
