just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
