As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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