So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
