Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
