i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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