I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
