I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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