"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
