Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize