In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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