well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
