My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
