Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
