clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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