Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
