How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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