he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
