uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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