I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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