he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
