Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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