Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
