So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
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you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize