Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
